I think of you

Once upon a time, our paths collided 

In perfect harmony, our minds melded.

My words attracted your gaze 

And my solitude needed your haze.

Together we fell into synced step.

And I still reminisce about you

My first friend after years of solitude. 

Told me your history, your hardships 

Father lost all money, gambling. 

Paid through college being a sugar baby 

Now you let men kiss your nether lips for money. 

At work, falling into the wrong crowd knowingly 

Colluding with men who worship your body openly.

But when the tides turn, as tides often do

I fear they will turn viciously on you.

Told you as such, but you played it coy 

Then the mask slipped, your heart spilled free —

“I don’t want to be shot,” you whispered to me.

Sifting through these memories 

Turning them around like a kaleidoscope. 

Fragments of the relationship come into view

Each revealing something new —

New facets, depths, and twists

Clear in hindsight, lacking in foresight. 

Though the years have unwind 

You still linger on my mind.

Bonded like two peas in a pod 

Nothing could come in between. 

Not race, nor difference

Except for time and distance.

Those old foes are relentless 

They chipped away at the ties 

We formed out of our emptiness.

Your number at my fingertips 

But what words would pass my lips?

Distance placed me out of your sphere long ago 

And time makes a fool out of our ego. 

Can’t recall the last time we spoke.

But I think of what could be 

If I pick up the phone now, call you? 

Could we kick off where we left off

Take a leap, shoot the shot, takeoff?

Make a mockery of others 

Feel clever about our place in the world.

Or would we be awkward

Trade silence like an award? 

Or would we take off our masks 

Wave a truce, a banner, at last!?

Unleash our inwards and cave 

To a new shared power — 

Friendship? 

I still think of you —

My first friend after years of solitude.

Inspiration

I wrote this about a friend I made during an internship while in Connecticut. The idea of it came in a plane ride going to Naples, Florida in 2023. 

Process

I started the poem when this phrase, "I think of you, now and then" came to mind. Although, the phrase ultimately didn't make it into the final version. Worked on the poem for about a week. Jot down all the ideas and thoughts that came to mind. Then edited it as needed.